Good short funny jokes

Blonde Jokes:

  • A blonde walks into a library and goes up to the front desk. Blonde: “Can I have a burger and fries, please?” Librarian: “Uh, sorry, this is a library.” Blonde: (whispering) “Oh, sorry.” (Clears throat) “Can I have a burger and fries, please?”
  • A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are lost in the desert. They come across a magic lamp and rub it, and a genie appears. The genie grants them each one wish. The brunette says, “I wish to be back home with my family.” The genie nods and poof! The brunette disappears. The redhead says, “I wish to be back home with my friends.” The genie nods and poof! The redhead disappears. The blonde looks around and says, “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were here with me.”
  • Why did the blonde stare at the can of orange juice? Because it said “concentrate” on it.
  • What do you call a blonde with a brain? Pregnant.
  • Why don’t blondes like making Kool-Aid? They can’t figure out how to get eight cups of water into that tiny packet.
  • How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner.
  • Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? She kept throwing away all the W’s.
  • How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch-and-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
  • Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.
  • Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills.
  • What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant, again.
  • Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what they laced them with but I was trippin’ all day.

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