Here’s a list of 200+ funny phrases and terms (men vs. women) that people use for self-love. From classic jokes to brand-new gems, this funny masturbation slang is sure to get a few chuckles. So, let’s dive in and discover the lighter side of doing it solo!
Funny slang terms for men
- Flogging the dolphin
- Polishing the bishop
- Beating the meat
- Choking the chicken
- Spanking the monkey
- Jerking off
- Tugging the tiger
- Rubbing one out
- Waxing the carrot
- Slapping the salami
- Whipping the willy
- Playing the skin flute
- Petting the one-eyed snake
- Fondling the ferret
- Pumping the python
- Wanking
- Stroking the sausage
- Milking the cow
- Pulling the pud
- Strangling the serpent
- Massaging the manhood
- Fondling the frankfurter
- Hand-to-gland combat
- Beating the bishop
- Fondling the flagpole
- Paddling the pink canoe
- Taming the trouser snake
- Jacking off
- Self-love
- Tickling the pickle
- Tossing the turkey
- Fondling the fig
- Paddling the purple-headed warrior
- Adjusting the antenna
- Taking matters into one’s own hands
- Pleasuring oneself
- Scratching the itch
- Polishing the pole
- Buffing the banana
- Slapping the sausage
- Giving oneself a hand
- Jerking the gherkin
- Firing the flesh musket
- Beating the baloney
- Muffin buffin’
- Playing pocket pool
- Stroking the stick
- Giving the old one-two
- Solo symphony
- Making the bald man cry
- Fondling the fountain
- Stirring the stew
- Raising the flag
- Strumming the banjo
- Noodling the noodle
- Jerking the jerky
- Working the wood
- Polishing the knob
- Massaging the muscle
- Wiggling the wand
- Playing the pink piccolo
- Beating the bone
- Shaking the snake
- Wobbling the walrus
- Gripping the gherkin
- Buffing the bishop
- Squeezing the sausage
- Fondling the fireman
- Stroking the stamen
- Squeezing the lemon
- Playing the skin lute
- Taming the tiger
- Tickling the tackle
- Teasing the trouser trout
- Yanking the yam
- Paddling the pelican
- Stroking the staff
- Wanking the willy
- Tweaking the twig
- Nurturing the nuts
- Pulling the pork
- Tinkering with the tool
- Caressing the cannon
- Rubbing the rocket
- Tinkling the triangle
- Whipping the wanker
- Fondling the phallus
- Paddling the pink paddle
- Coaxing the cobra
- Tickling the tonsils
- Kneading the knish
- Fiddling the fiddle
- Shining the shaft
- Kissing the kraken
- Squeezing the scepter
- Stimulating the stump
- Flogging the flagpole
- Prodding the python
- Massaging the member
- Fondling the foreskin
- Nudging the nugget
- Teasing the tater tot
- Patting the python
- Playing the pant flute
- Smacking the salami
- Juggling the jelly roll
- Rubbing the rug
- Flicking the foreskin
- Jousting the joystick
- Nudging the noodle
- Paddling the pink pumpkin
- Pinging the pink ping pong
- Nuzzling the navel
- Rolling the rod
- Stimulating the sizzle stick
- Fondling the footlong
- Touching the turtleneck
- Nudging the nozzle
- Kneading the knuckle
- Tipping the totem
- Picking the pepper
- Kneading the kneecap
- Adjusting the appendage
- Squeezing the schnitzel
- Jiggling the Johnson
- Tugging the turnip
- Pulling the plunger
- Fondling the faucet
- Stroking the steel
- Fondling the frank
- Fiddling the finger
- Fondling the fritter
- Kneading the knocker
- Twiddling the twig
- Fondling the falafel
- Tugging the twig
- Whacking the wad
- Wiggling the worm
- Jerking the jib
- Wobbling the weenie
- Rubbing the raisin
- Tugging the tag
- Flicking the fig
- Tapping the totem
- Fondling the pharaoh
- Pinching the pickle
- Pulling the pistil
- Tugging the tadpole
- Jerking the joystick
- Rubbing the ravioli
- Jiggling the jambalaya
- Tickling the trident
- Fondling the firecracker
- Pinching the python
- Tinkering with the tackle
- Wiggling the winkle
- Tinkering with the tassel
- Jiggling the jingle bells
- Tweaking the twizzle
- Fiddling the foreskin
- Fondling the falcon
- Kneading the kabob
- Rubbing the root
- Fondling the frosted flake
- Squeezing the spud
- Jiggling the jalapeno
- Fondling the flipper
- Pinging the porcupine
- Squeezing the spigot
- Fondling the fun-size
- Tinkering with the torpedo
- Fondling the funnel cake
- Rubbing the ravioli
- Fondling the Frisbee
- Fondling the flapjack
- Flicking the frond
- Tinkering with the tater tot
- Fondling the fortune cookie
- Rubbing the radish
- Fondling the flapjack
- Flicking the frond
- Tinkering with the tater tot
- Fondling the fortune cookie
- Rubbing the radish
- Fondling the frond
- Flicking the flapjack
- Tinkering with the tortilla
- Fondling the fortune cookie
- Rubbing the rascal
- Fondling the flip-flop
- Flicking the fruitcake
- Tinkering with the tassel
- Fondling the frisbee
- Rubbing the ramen
- Fondling the frond
- Flicking the flapjack
- Tinkering with the tamale
- Fondling the fortune cookie
- Rubbing the radish
- Fondling the frisbee
Funny slang terms for women
- Flicking the bean
- Petting the kitty
- Tickling the taco
- Polishing the pearl
- Rubbing the rose
- Dialing the rotary phone
- Stirring the honey pot
- Tending the garden
- Finger painting
- Buffing the muffin
- Tapping the tamale
- Playing the pink piano
- Tweaking the twat
- Tickling the tuna
- Strumming the clam
- Jilling off
- Fondling the flaps
- Nudging the nugget
- Caressing the cookie
- Frolicking with the furburger
- Teasing the taco
- Polishing the princess
- Rubbing the ruby
- Flicking the flan
- Petting the petunia
- Tossing the taco
- Taming the tiger lily
- Paddling the peach
- Tugging the tulip
- Polishing the pink pearl
- Nuzzling the nectarine
- Fondling the fig
- Tinkering with the tulip
- Tweaking the tangerine
- Fondling the fluff
- Caressing the candy
- Jiggling the jellybean
- Polishing the pistachio
- Rubbing the raspberry
- Flicking the fig
- Tending the tulip
- Winking the whisker
- Fondling the fern
- Polishing the peach pit
- Tinkling the triangle
- Taming the tangerine
- Nurturing the nectar
- Stroking the strawberry
- Tugging the taffy
- Caressing the clementine
- Fondling the frond
- Tickling the truffle
- Tending the tater tot
- Tinkling the tangerine
- Taming the tangelo
- Polishing the plum
- Rubbing the raisin
- Nudging the nectar
- Fondling the frosted flake
- Tugging the truffle
- Petting the persimmon
- Winking the watermelon
- Flicking the fig
- Polishing the pecan
- Nurturing the nut
- Tinkling the tomato
- Taming the tootsie roll
- Rubbing the rutabaga
- Nudging the nutmeg
- Fondling the fritter
- Tugging the tamarind
- Caressing the cashew
- Polishing the pistil
- Tweaking the tangelo
- Winking the walnut
- Fondling the fluffernutter
- Tinkling the toffee
- Nurturing the nougat
- Rubbing the radish
- Nudging the noodle
- Fondling the fruitcake
- Tugging the truffle
- Polishing the pecan
- Winking the watermelon
- Caressing the cantaloupe
- Tinkling the tomato
- Nurturing the nut
- Rubbing the rutabaga
- Fondling the fritter
- Tugging the tamarind
- Polishing the pistil
- Tweaking the tangelo
- Winking the walnut
- Fondling the fluffernutter
- Tinkling the toffee
- Nurturing the nougat
- Rubbing the radish
- Nudging the noodle
- Fondling the fruitcake
- Tugging the truffle
- Polishing the pecan
- Winking the watermelon
- Caressing the cantaloupe
- Tinkling the tomato
- Nurturing the nut
- Rubbing the rutabaga
- Fondling the fritter
- Tugging the tamarind
- Polishing the pistil
- Tweaking the tangelo
- Winking the walnut
- Fondling the fluffernutter
- Tinkling the toffee
- Nurturing the nougat
- Rubbing the radish
- Nudging the noodle
- Fondling the fruitcake
- Tugging the truffle
- Polishing the pecan
- Winking the watermelon
- Caressing the cantaloupe
- Tinkling the tomato
- Nurturing the nut
- Rubbing the rutabaga
- Fondling the fritter
- Tugging the tamarind
- Polishing the pistil
- Tweaking the tangelo
- Winking the walnut
- Fondling the fluffernutter
- Tinkling the toffee
- Nurturing the nougat
- Rubbing the radish
- Nudging the noodle
- Fondling the fruitcake
- Tugging the truffle
- Polishing the pecan
- Winking the watermelon
- Caressing the cantaloupe
- Tinkling the tomato
- Nurturing the nut
- Rubbing the rutabaga
- Fondling the fritter
- Tugging the tamarind
- Polishing the pistil
- Tweaking the tangelo
- Winking the walnut
- Fondling the fluffernutter
- Tinkling the toffee
- Nurturing the nougat
- Rubbing the radish
- Nudging the noodle
- Fondling the fruitcake
- Tugging the truffle
- Polishing the pecan
- Winking the watermelon
- Caressing the cantaloupe
- Tinkling the tomato
- Nurturing the nut
- Rubbing the rutabaga
- Fondling the fritter
- Tugging the tamarind
- Polishing the pistil
- Tweaking the tangelo
- Winking the walnut
- Fondling the fluffernutter
- Tinkling the toffee
- Nurturing the nougat
- Rubbing the radish
- Nudging the noodle
- Fondling the fruitcake
- Tugging the truffle
- Polishing the pecan
- Winking the watermelon
- Caressing the cantaloupe
- Tinkling the tomato
- Nurturing the nut
- Rubbing the rutabaga
- Fondling the fritter
- Tugging the tamarind
- Polishing the pistil
- Tweaking the tangelo
- Winking the walnut
- Fondling the fluffernutter
- Tinkling the toffee
- Nurturing the nougat
- Rubbing the radish
- Nudging the noodle
- Fondling the fruitcake
- Tugging the truffle
- Polishing the pecan
- Winking the watermelon
- Caressing the cantaloupe
- Tinkling the tomato
- Nurturing the nut
- Rubbing the rutabaga
- Fondling the fritter
- Tugging the tamarind
- Polishing the pistil
- Tweaking the tangelo